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Why does your child now hate going to school? A psychiatrist explains the underlying causes.

Every parent faces the occasional “I don’t want to go to school” morning. But when it becomes a pattern, tears at the door, sudden stomach aches, or a child clinging desperately to you, it’s no longer about laziness or stubbornness. It's a more profound emotional signal that requires tact rather than coercion.

New Delhi

Every parent faces the occasional “I don’t want to go to school” morning. But when it becomes a pattern, tears at the door, sudden stomach aches, or a child clinging desperately to you, it’s no longer about laziness or stubbornness. It’s a deeper emotional signal, and one that needs gentle attention rather than pressure.

Dr Samant Darshi, Interventional Psychiatrist, Yatharth Hospitals, Noida & Director, Psymate Healthcare, spoke to us to highlight the importance of the matter. School refusal sits at the intersection of psychology, behaviour, and fear. Unlike truancy, where a child actively avoids school for thrill or rebellion, school refusal is rooted in genuine distress. It's "a reaction to emotional disturbance, usually anxiety, fear, or stress, not mischief," according to Dr. Samant Darshi. The first step in helping your child is realizing this difference.

Symptoms and indicators that parents should not ignore

Dr Darshi notes that the body often expresses anxiety long before children find the words for it. Common indicators include:

  • Frequent morning headaches, stomach aches, or throat pain.
  • Frequent morning headaches, stomach aches, or throat pain.
  • Repeated complaints about attending school.
  • avoiding days when there are exams, group projects, or presentations.
  • Spending long hours in the school nurse’s room with vague symptoms.
  • excessive worry over their parents' safety while they are away.
  • An important hint: once the child stays at home, these symptoms typically go away, only to reappear the following morning.

    What causes school refusal? The emotional foundations

    According to Dr Darshi, school refusal is rarely about one single cause. It usually results from a confluence of environmental and psychological factors.

    The four main causes

  • Avoiding negative feelings like anxiety, panic, depression, or learning difficulties.
  • Avoiding certain situations, such as bullying, tests, public speaking, or group work.
  • It is mainly attention-seeking or reassurance, particularly among children with separation anxiety.
  • Preferring comforting alternatives like staying home to play, rest, or pursue hobbies.
  • Other triggers include:

  • Social phobia or extreme shyness
  • Stress in the family (disease, disputes, addiction, or financial hardship)
  • Fear of unexpected stressful situations, school fights, or emergency drills
  • Dr. Darshi emphasizes that transitions, new grades, new schools, or significant life changes are frequently associated with school refusal.

    How psychologists identify school refusal

    A proper evaluation goes beyond simple observation because anxiety is internal and easily masked. Diagnosis typically includes:

  • A proper evaluation goes beyond simple observation because anxiety is internal and easily masked. Diagnosis typically includes:
  • Clinical interviews with parents and children
  • Academic background and observations made by teachers
  • Excluding medical conditions
  • What parents can do at this time

  • Rule out illness first. See a physician to make sure your symptoms are not physical.
  • Work with teachers and school counsellors. They are able to identify triggers that you might miss at home.
  • Promote gradual attendance. The longer a child stays away, the harder the return.
  • Remain composed and sympathetic. Steer clear of punishment as it can exacerbate anxiety.
  • Create predictable morning routines. Fear is lessened by structure.
  • A shortened school day, encouraging words, small steps, or a familiar adult at drop-off can all make a big difference.

    When is the right time to get expert assistance?

    Dr Darshi recommends mental health support if:

  • Symptoms persist for more than two weeks.
  • The child refuses, despite family efforts.
  • You notice signs of anxiety, depression, trauma, or withdrawal
  • The child expresses feelings of hopelessness or self-harm.
  • Early intervention helps prevent long-term emotional difficulties in addition to resolving school refusal.

    About 1 in 20 kids experience school refusal, especially during big school transitions. With patience, empathy, and structured support, most children go back to school with renewed confidence. Kids need understanding, not pressure. Healing starts when their fears are acknowledged and addressed.




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    Meaning of Moksha in Jain Philosophy: Understanding the Ultimate Goal of the Jain Path

    Description: Curious about the meaning of Moksha in Jainism? Here's a respectful, honest guide to understanding liberation in Jain philosophy — what it means and why it matters.

    Let me start with something important.

    Every major spiritual tradition in the world grapples with the same fundamental question: Is there a way out of suffering?

    Is there a state beyond the endless cycle of wanting and losing, striving and failing, being born and dying? Is there something more permanent, more real, more free than the ordinary human experience?

    In Jainism, the answer is yes. And that answer has a name: Moksha.

    Moksha is the ultimate goal of the Jain path. It's not a vague aspiration or a comforting metaphor. In Jain philosophy, it's a precise, clearly defined state — the complete liberation of the soul from all karma, all bondage, and all suffering. The permanent, irreversible attainment of infinite knowledge, infinite perception, infinite bliss, and infinite energy.

    But to truly understand what Moksha means in Jainism, you need to understand the philosophical framework that surrounds it. Because Jainism's understanding of the soul, karma, and liberation is unique, sophisticated, and remarkably detailed.

    So let's explore it. Respectfully. Carefully. With genuine curiosity about one of the most profound philosophical traditions in human history.


    The Starting Point: What Is the Soul in Jainism?

    Before we can understand Moksha, we need to understand what Jainism says about the soul — because Moksha is fundamentally about the soul's liberation.

    In Jain philosophy, the soul is called Jiva. And it has some extraordinary characteristics.

    The soul is eternal. It has no beginning and no end. It was never created and will never be destroyed. It simply is — always has been, always will be.

    The soul is conscious. Consciousness isn't something the soul has — it's what the soul fundamentally IS. The soul's essential nature is awareness, knowing, perceiving.

    The soul is inherently perfect. This is perhaps the most profound and distinctive aspect of Jain philosophy. In its pure, unobstructed state, the soul possesses:

    • Anant Jnana — Infinite knowledge (knowing everything, all at once)
    • Anant Darshana — Infinite perception (perceiving all reality completely)
    • Anant Sukha — Infinite bliss (perfect, unshakeable happiness)
    • Anant Virya — Infinite energy (unlimited spiritual power)

    These four infinite qualities — called the Anant Chatustaya — are the soul's true nature. They're not qualities the soul needs to develop or earn. They already exist within every soul. They're always there.

    The problem? They're hidden. Covered. Obscured.

    And what covers them? Karma.


    The Jain Understanding of Karma: Why It's Different

    Most people have a general idea of karma as some kind of cosmic justice system — do good, get good; do bad, get bad. That understanding, while useful, barely scratches the surface of the sophisticated Jain philosophical concept.

    In Jainism, karma is not abstract. It's physical.

    Karma is understood as a subtle material substance — infinitely fine particles that exist throughout the universe (called karma varganas or karmic particles). These particles are so fine they're beyond ordinary perception, but they're as real and material as anything in the physical world.

    How karma attaches to the soul:

    When a soul — embodied in a living being — acts, thinks, or speaks with passion (kasaya):

    • Anger (krodha)
    • Pride (mana)
    • Deceit (maya)
    • Greed (lobha)

    ...the vibrations created by that passionate action attract karmic particles from the surrounding environment. These particles stick to the soul, coating it like a layer of dust on a mirror.

    This process is called Asrava — the influx of karma.

    The stuck karma then matures over time and produces its effects — causing the soul to experience pleasure, pain, various life situations, and ultimately another rebirth.

    This process is called Bandha — karmic bondage.

    What karma does to the soul:

    Different types of karma have different effects:

    • Knowledge-obscuring karma (Jnanavaraniya) — Covers the soul's infinite knowledge like a cloth covering a lamp
    • Perception-obscuring karma (Darshanavaraniya) — Covers infinite perception like a blindfold
    • Feeling-producing karma (Vedaniya) — Causes experiences of pleasure and pain
    • Deluding karma (Mohaniya) — This is the most dangerous — it creates wrong views and wrong conduct, making the soul mistake what is unreal for real, and what is harmful for beneficial
    • Life-determining karma (Ayushya) — Determines the duration of a particular life
    • Body-determining karma (Nama) — Determines the type of body, appearance, and circumstances of birth
    • Status-determining karma (Gotra) — Determines social standing and family
    • Energy-obscuring karma (Antaraya) — Blocks the soul's infinite energy

    All of this karma accumulation — built up over countless lifetimes — is what keeps the soul trapped in Samsara: the endless cycle of birth, death, and rebirth.


    What Is Samsara and Why Must It End?

    Samsara is the cycle of existence — the endless rounds of birth, life, death, and rebirth that the karma-laden soul undergoes.

    In Jain cosmology, souls have existed for eternity. Every soul has been born and reborn countless times — in every possible form of life, at every level of the cosmic hierarchy, in every type of circumstance.

    The four main categories of existence in samsara (called Gatis):

    1. Narak (Hell beings) — Souls in states of intense suffering in hellish realms
    2. Tiryancha (Non-human beings) — Animals, insects, plants, elements
    3. Manushya (Human beings) — The most precious birth because only humans can consciously pursue liberation
    4. Deva (Divine beings) — Celestial beings with great pleasure and power but still subject to karma and rebirth

    Every soul has been all of these — countless times. The wealthy person was once a worm. The devotee was once a demon. The sage was once a tyrant.

    Why must samsara end?

    Because it is inherently unsatisfying and inherently painful.

    Even the most pleasant circumstances in samsara are temporary and ultimately end. The heavenly beings eventually exhaust their good karma and fall to lower existences. The powerful eventually lose their power. The loved eventually lose their loved ones. Joy is always shadowed by the knowledge that it will pass.

    No pleasure in samsara is permanent. No peace is lasting. No relationship endures forever. And underlying all of it is the ever-present potential for suffering — for illness, loss, death, and rebirth in less fortunate circumstances.

    The Jain path is a way out of this endless, exhausting cycle. And the exit is Moksha.

    The Old Route An Overview of Jainism

    One of the world’s oldest religions, Jainism, has its roots in ancient India. This non-theistic religion stresses spiritual self-reliance and self-control as well as non-violence to all living beings. The ethical rigor of Jainism and its ascetic practices are often mentioned.

    Jainism developed from the 7th to 5th century BCE in the Ganges valley of eastern India and shares a common ancestry with Hinduism and Buddhism reflecting contemporary spiritual and philosophical heterogeneity at that time. The founders of Jainism are called Tirthankaras; among them, Mahavira(599-527 BCE) is the most recent and best known. Mahavira is commonly placed as a contemporary with Buddha, while his teachings form tenets for Jain religious philosophy.

    Main Laws:

    • Ahimsa (Non-Violence): Ahimsa is the primordial rule in Jain tradition which means harmlessness or non-violence towards anything that breathes whether by thought, speech, or action.
    • Anekantvad (Non Absolutism): It preaches that truth and reality are intricate matters that can be seen from various standpoints which will require openness in mind to accommodate different opinions.

    सोमनाथ ज्योतिर्लिंग, गुजरात

    सोमनाथ मंदिर, जिसे सोमनाथ मंदिर या देव पाटन भी कहा जाता है, भारत के गुजरात में वेरावल के प्रभास पाटन में स्थित एक हिंदू मंदिर है। यह हिंदुओं के लिए सबसे पवित्र तीर्थ स्थलों में से एक है और माना जाता है कि यह शिव के बारह ज्योतिर्लिंग मंदिरों में से पहला है।  कई मुस्लिम आक्रमणकारियों और शासकों द्वारा बार-बार विनाश के बाद, विशेष रूप से 11वीं शताब्दी में महमूद गजनी के हमले से शुरू होकर, मंदिर का कई बार पुनर्निर्माण किया गया था।